"POSSESSED" salad dressing strikes fear throughout state of wyoming!!!

well... maybe not the entire state, but if you needed another reason to avoid wyoming (doubtful), here ya go...

What should have been the start of a delicious meal turned into a nightmare for a Wyoming woman who says she was attacked by a 'possessed' bottle of salad dressing!

In a very strange local news report, Divel McClean described the incident to a reporter from KTWO.

According to McClean, after she retrieved the salad dressing from the refrigerator, she suddenly heard a series of pops coming from the container.

"I looked up and it was possessed," she said, "it was going crazy. It was shooting up in the air and to the side."

Astounded by what was happening, McClean took pictures of the bottle because she didn't think anyone would believe her story.

"Well, it's hard to explain I was attacked by a bottle of salad dressing," she told to the newscast.

Fortunately for McClean, the incident was not driven by demonic forces and, in fact, had a more prosaic explanation as her salad dressing had actually been recalled months ago.

At the time, manufacturers explained, bacteria in the dressing was creating gas bubbles which erupted when the bottles were opened.

The answer to the mystery of the 'possessed' salad dressing was little consolation for McClean, who claims that the exploding dressing caused $2,500 in damages to the kitchen, her clothes, and a nearby computer.

And, we presume, she never got to eat that salad either.

Source: Vice.com

Count Your Dressings Notes:
1. To begin, I have serious doubts that the meal she was preparing would fall under the category: "delicious".
2. Who/what the fuck is Dorothy Lynch? (hope it was on sale).
3. First name: Divel.... easily anagrammed. (Who's possessing what here?)
4. Last name: McClean. Well, McClean it up.
5. Sound effect grandmaster.

huge ups to ms. skolmoski for bringing this to our immediate attention here!