What the fuck, Girard's?!?!

Fuck this noise, man.

Everyone knows Pierre Girard's Champagne dressing has forever been probably my favorite over-the-counter grabs EVER! (Some of the other varieties are pretty good too). A huge component to the brand's appeal has always been it's distinctive triangular bottle... SO WHY DID THEY FUCKING CHANGE IT!!!

Now instead of the sophisticated aesthetic of the triangularly-based vessel we knew and loved, we find ourselves with this dumbass skinny, square tower thing. Totally tired date.

😊 - Triangle = Taser Factory - 👍

😡 - Square = Tired Date - 👎

Why?!?! For some answers, I checked out Ardagh Group, the team they turned to to "refresh" the design. Ardagh proudly implicate themselves in this bullshit travesty, and highlight such reasoning as...
- "...it is more efficient and increases shelf holding power at retailers by 33%..."
- "...optimized for manufacturing, filling and packing..."

I don't give a fuck about the retailers or the manufacturers! Destroy a (the) key, iconic element of one of the most recognizable, reasonably priced, store bought dressings on the market just so you can fit a few more bottles on the shelf? No.

I know I'm alone in saying that that now abandoned bottle design was 1/2 of the whole Girard's experience - equally as important as its actual contents. Girard's, T. Marzetti, Ardagh Group...Thanks for ruining one of my favorite dressings.

Fucking squares.

*I swear it even tastes different now. Lost charms.