Saturday, March 28, 2020

What the fuck, Girard's?!?!

Fuck this noise.

[Some readers] Everyone [may recall] knows Pierre Girard's Champagne dressing has forever been probably my flavourite over-the-counter grabs EVER! (Some of the other varieties are pretty good too). One of the key elements to the brand's appeal has forever been it's distinctive triangular bottle... 

ΒΊsmilesΒΊ

...and...so....

WTFUCK!? ?! !  WHY CHANGE IT? ? ! !? ?

not smile

😊 - Triangle = Taser Factory - πŸ‘
😑 - Square = Tired Date - πŸ‘Ž


Why?!?! Now instead of the poser sophisticated charm of the triangularly-based vessel we knew and loved, we find ourselves with this dumbass skinny, square tower thing. Totally tired date.

For some answers, I checked out Ardagh Group, the team they turned to to "refresh" the design. Argadgh proudly implicate themselves in this bullshit travesty, and highlight such reasoning as...
- "...it is more efficient and increases shelf holding power at retailers by 33%..."
- "...optimized for manufacturing, filling and packing..." 

I don't give a fuck about the retailers or the manufacturers! Destroy a (the) standout, if not near 
iconic, elements of one of, if not the only reasonably priced, not gross, store bought dressings on the market just so you can fit a few more bottles on the shelf? 

(unsolicited answer) No.

and I know I'm alone in saying that that now abandoned bottle design was huge in the whole Girard's experience - more so than the actual contents. 
Just another item on the "Fuck This" list for Girard's, T. Marzetti, Aradagaha Group...
Thanks for ruining one of my favorite OTC dressings.

Fucking squares.


*swear it even tastes different now. lost charms.

No comments:

Post a Comment