Ya know why these are sitting on top of a trash can? Cuz that's where they're goin'! Cuz they're fucking trash!
I don't even know how this stuff came to haunt my refrigerator. (actually, becuz they were two for $2). BOLD FLAVOR?! Jah, sure, if you have the taste sensitivity of a Swiss toddler.
Cauliflower puree, tomatillo puree... that's all good and fine, puree whatever yr fucking heart desires, but give me a fucking break with the "POWER DRESSING" bit, ya dig? Healthy, sure, probably. I don't see it killing anything except my goddamn salad!
Also, STOP using classic salad dressing names for shit like this. That's not ranch, and that's not Italian, and you fucking know it. If yr so damn clever with weird appropriations of vegetable matter, then surely there's someone on yr fantastic fucking food fuel focused team that can easily dream up some super obnoxious names for yr game!
Please spare the time-tested traditional tags the indignity of having their names marred for the sake of shelf recognition... actually, just spare me.
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