"POSSESSED" salad dressing strikes fear throughout state of wyoming!!!

well... maybe not the entire state, but if you needed another reason to avoid wyoming (doubtful), here ya go...

What should have been the start of a delicious meal turned into a nightmare for a Wyoming woman who says she was attacked by a 'possessed' bottle of salad dressing!

In a very strange local news report, Divel McClean described the incident to a reporter from KTWO.

According to McClean, after she retrieved the salad dressing from the refrigerator, she suddenly heard a series of pops coming from the container.

"I looked up and it was possessed," she said, "it was going crazy. It was shooting up in the air and to the side."

Astounded by what was happening, McClean took pictures of the bottle because she didn't think anyone would believe her story.

"Well, it's hard to explain I was attacked by a bottle of salad dressing," she told to the newscast.

Fortunately for McClean, the incident was not driven by demonic forces and, in fact, had a more prosaic explanation as her salad dressing had actually been recalled months ago.

At the time, manufacturers explained, bacteria in the dressing was creating gas bubbles which erupted when the bottles were opened.

The answer to the mystery of the 'possessed' salad dressing was little consolation for McClean, who claims that the exploding dressing caused $2,500 in damages to the kitchen, her clothes, and a nearby computer.

And, we presume, she never got to eat that salad either.

Source: Vice.com

Count Your Dressings Notes:
1. To begin, I have serious doubts that the meal she was preparing would fall under the category: "delicious".
2. Who/what the fuck is Dorothy Lynch? (hope it was on sale).
3. First name: Divel.... easily anagrammed. (Who's possessing what here?)
4. Last name: McClean. Well, McClean it up.
5. Sound effect grandmaster.

huge ups to ms. skolmoski for bringing this to our immediate attention here!

cardini's "red jalapeno caesar"

so.... i grabbed this because no anchovies, + on sale...

hmm.

the taster here is feeling something similar to an "any brand" thousand island, only lighter.

finally kinda got into it, but only via sandwich.

nothing caesar about it really.

i recall cardini's original caesar as a go-to back in the day....

stick w/ the o.g.

on a scale of 9 to 5, this gets a 6 for possible extra-salad usability.

and a 2 for actual taste.

find your salad soulmate....

feeling lonely tonight?

here you go:
http://saladmatch.com/
A: So what R U up 2 after the farmer's market?
B: Eating salad.
A: K.

know what sucks?

Lighthouse Dressing....of any variety. I mean, how can they manage to even fuck up Ranch?!

Don't bother...even if it's on sale.

pizza hut salad towers!!!!!!!

at pizza hut, in china, patrons are limited to one go at the salad bar (the one bowl, one visit policy), which has prompted a very very exciting trend of creating well-crafted salad towers to maximize the amount of food! 

here's some words on the subject from the daily mail! (i added the !'s)

It's a conundrum that’s long challenged gluttons and hard-up students!

But now a scientist claims he has worked out how to truly make the most of a buffet bar – by piling food into a 3ft-high tower!

Unfortunately, while it allows you to eat vast quantities, the results don’t exactly look appetising!

Shen Hongrui, a Chinese engineer, advises hungry diners to build strong ‘walls’ with cucumber and carrots, creating a tall container on their plate to fill with their favourite foods!

He devised the set of instructions to get around the ‘one bowl, one visit’ rule at the salad bar in his local Pizza Hut in Beijing!

First, he tells diners to build a solid base, ideally with chickpeas and potatoes! ‘The foundations are very important, so choose dry and strong material,’ he says!

Next, would-be gluttons must create a layer of carrot sticks radiating from the centre to act as a scaffold!

Then they should use slices of cucumber or blocks of fruit as bricks to build the tower’s ‘walls’!

Finally, fill the tower with the food you are most keen on eating! All you need after that is a steady hand to carry your heaving platter back to the table!

But Mr Hongrui’s method ended up backfiring – it became so popular that Pizza Hut scrapped all its salad bars in China! The art of piling food high on one’s plate has become known as ‘salad bar hacking’, inspiring websites with galleries devoted to towering piles of food!

The towering piles of cucumber – too much for a single person to eat – seem likely to end up in the bin and are likely to horrify campaigners against food waste!

Last year, 60 per cent of all food thrown away could have been eaten, according to a recent study – around 7.2million tons a year! The figure is down around 13 per cent on the previous year – possibly because of the economic downturn!

Other scientists have also been fascinated by salad bars!

Brian Wansink and colleagues at the Food and Brand Laboratory at Cornell University noticed that people with a high body mass index (BMI) – a measure of obesity - sit on average 16ft closer to a buffet than those with an average BMI!

They also found that 71 per cent of overweight people sit facing the food, compared to around 26 per cent of people of average weight!

AMAZING! and though i can't really eat much food ever, i would build tall!

greek orthodox dressing

Yo Dr. Hippocrates, I need some Ouzo for my Metaxa...

...salad is so funny!

"women laughing alone with salad"...the best thing i've seen online in such a long time:


http://thehairpin.com/2011/01/women-laughing-alone-with-salad

this post is a dream come true.

there are so many positive things i could write about this, but i can't stop laughing and smiling.

thanks ms. canada!